This is my mom – Just slightly less than three weeks ago, giving me crap about my sarcasm…

Life has drastically changed for my mom since I took this picture.

I posted this update to dear friends at Experts Exchange:

“I’m beside myself tonight.  Mom is currently stable in ICU.  My bro is with her.  I am packing for an early morning departure from here to ICU.  Have been in tears all night (not for me – I promise) but because I just can’t let mom suffer.  How to proceed is the toughest question that we have ever had to address.  Am AFRAID for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, as is bro – how to make a decision for mom?  I don’t know how to do this, he does not know how to do this – blind leading the blind…I am truly afraid, he is more afraid.  What if I make the wrong decision, what if he makes the wrong decision and she suffers more?”

We are very new at this.  My mom was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Parkinsons. She was moved from the the GEOPsy unit to ICU early this evening due to contracting aspiration pneumonia.  Our mom has literally fallen apart within a matter of weeks.  She did not have a living will.  We are now being asked by the doctor if we want her on life support.  We wish that we knew the answer…

<sigh>

Update: July 5, 2009

Mom is now on life support and is very frail.  She has a 48 hour window of where she could succeed or fail.  She has pneumonia in her right lung and sepsis may have set in.  She is on a central line IV.  A feed tube was inserted into her stomach late this afternoon and she has excessive swelling in her legs and feet.

Update: July 6, 2009

We are going to have to remove life support soon if she is unable to breath on her own because it is just too much for her frail body to handle. A DNR (do not resuscitate) order will be in effect if she suffers cardiac or respiratory arrest after she is taken off life support.  I urge everyone to make advance health care directives ASAP.

Bipap machine was removed. Last rites read by a catholic priest. Mom wants out.

Update: July 7, 2009

Stable overnight and morning.  Mom seems a little clearer today.  Will see how the day goes.

They took her off life support late this afternoon and she was able to function without it.  The central line is being removed from her neck and a PICC line is being put in.  She tried to talk today.  We are holding our breath and taking it one day at a time.

Update: July 8, 2009

Mom is able to talk though she still has to have oxygen and still has the PICC line and a small fever.  We are still pretty shocked here, but very thankful.

Update: July 9, 2009

Mom has gone way downhill since last night.  Had the Quality of Life meeting with the doctor, lead nurse, social worker, and chaplain.  We have to make a decision soon.  She is not going to get better unless an absolute miracle happens.  The pneumonia was too much.   On Monday my bro and I go to probate court to apply for co-guardianship.

Update: July 10, 2009

This is totally insane but awesome news – we don’t know what to think today.  Mom is up, talking, pulled her feeding tube out, eating jello, and with the speech therapist.  Still in a state of shock here – we hope that this continues…Holding my breath as I type.

Here is a cam of mom late this afternoon:

*

Update: July 12, 2009

Mom was moved from ICU to floor 8 at Elliot Hospital and was doing well on the 11th but is back in a daze this morning.  Guardianship hearing is tomorrow…

Update: July 13, 2009

I do not like mom being placed on floor 8 at Elliot Hospital.  She is not a good fit for this floor.  She is unable to drink or eat and she does not like her new room.

Update: July 14, 2009 A.M.

I just heard from the Clinical Manager, Pauline Turner of Fuller Unit (floor at Elliot Hospital.  Due to construction and because the unit was full, she was unable to have a window view or private room.  Mom will be checking out today, to move to a nursing home at 1pm.

This Unit Manager is dedicated to patient care and is quick to address patient concerns.  Overall, Elliot Hospital gets a 100% quality approval rating in their dedication to patient care and addressing end of life concerns.  Thank you Elliot Hospital.

P.M.—–Mom relocated to a catholic nursing home this afternoon.  She is in a room with a window and appears to be comfortable.  I hope that she is.

Update: July 16, 2009  — Mom does not look like mom anymore.  She is so shrunken.  It is devastating beyond belief to watch her waste away before our eyes. I don’t feel that we made the right decision tonight.  I am so afraid for her.  Please don’t let her be in pain – am hoping the morphine is really working.

Update: July 18, 2009 — Mom, Velma Elizabeth Grenier is at peace now.  She died at 6:20 pm tonight.  I have deep gratitude that she no longer has to suffer.  RIP¹))))))) x0x00xx

1. ((((MOM