Sometimes you just need to laugh at yourself!
Sometime just being overtired and working long hours can contribute to low brain function. Maybe I should just tell you that this is an April Fool’s joke and leave it at that – but it is not a joke, and this happened to me during the wee hours of the morning of April 1, 2009.
Dell technical support chat (after waiting 40 minutes online) to *replace* a set of USB speakers:
Edited for brevity purposes 
Agent (Dell_techid#): “Thank you for contacting Dell Technical Support. My name is Dell_techid# and my rep ID number is ######. How may I assist you today?”
Teksquisite: “my usb speakers are duds”
Teksquisite: “I have tried them on 4 different computers”
Agent (Dell_techid#): “I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience caused to you because of this and I am really sorry that you had to wait so long to get connected to us. We are facing very high chat flow today. Please be assured I am here to assist you.”
Teksquisite: “the sound shows them as working but no sound”
Teksquisite: “i just want speakers that work”
Teksquisite: “device manager shows the driver as working”
Agent (Dell_techid#): “As per the records, you have Inspiron D530S with Windows Vista, am I correct?”
Teksquisite: “o errors”
Teksquisite: “yes”
Teksquisite: “volume is 66 and not grayed out”
Teksquisite: “no sound at all”
Agent (Dell_techid#): Teksquisite did you turn the speakers on?”
Agent (Dell_techid#): “Please be assured, I am here to assist you. There would be a round switch on top of one of the speakers , please turn the switch to turn the speakers on.”
Teksquisite: “LOLOL why didn’t you make it a slightly different color!”
Agent (Dell_techid#): Teksquisite are the speakers working now?”
Teksquisite: “yes”
Teksquisite: “hahahaha”
Teksquisite: “that is too funny”
Agent (Dell_techid#): “Great, is there anything else I can assist you with?”
Teksquisite: “and to think I do IT consulting”
Teksquisite: “no”
Teksquisite: “I am still cracking up here”
Teksquisite: “thanks”
Agent (Dell_techid#): “You are welcome. Please do not worry about any issues regarding your Dell system, it is our responsibility to make sure that your system works fine.”
Teksquisite: “ok so my advice to you is to make that button a gray color or something – because I did initally press it”
Teksquisite: “and did not know it turned”
Teksquisite: “hahahaha”
Teksquisite: “rofl”
Teksquisite: “omigawd I am dying here”
Teksquisite: “thanks”
Agent (Dell_techid#): “I understand, I will surely pass this feedback to the concerned department. It was really nice chatting with you, have a great time ahead.”
Agent (Dell_techid#): “Thank you for contacting Dell Technical Support and giving me the opportunity to assist you. I have included your Case # ######## with regards to the interaction we had today. Please keep this on file; it will assist you while contacting Dell in the fu”
ture.
Agent (Dell_techid#): “As there are no further messages or questions I will be disconnecting the chat now. Thank you for choosing Dell, we appreciate your business with Dell. Good bye.”
Session Ended
Sometimes product technology is just too simple! I pressed the top of the speaker and monkey doodled with it but did not make a huge issue out of wondering where the volume button was located. It all goes to show that even IT consultants are human!
agent, dell, speakers, technical support, teksquisite, USB, volume
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